I've just been to a debate on the "Future of Feminism" that makes me truly think that the future of feminism is fucked if it's left in the hands of these "sisters". Not only were the panel patronising, they didn't answer the questions from the audience. They also intimidated other members whilst talking about patriarchy and how we have to bond together in a "sisterhood" and stop judging each other. In the words of my wonderful feminist mother "If you are against the patriarchy then stop patronising my daughter".
When I asked a pretty legitimate question about the fact that the furthering of the feminism is more about empowering women from the ground up rather than having theoretical debates between like minded people about how we can further equality for everyone; I was met with defensiveness and talk of outreach programmes. The panel were very happy to talk about getting involved with the community to further the "feminist movement" but nothing about actual real women and what it can do for them. Nothing about young women which I specifically mentioned. And don't even get me started on Finn Mackay's response.
Other audience members asked questions which were repeatedly not answered or brushed over into areas the panel felt more comfortable talking in. There were interesting points raised about the role of black feminism as a separate entity within feminism as Chitra Nagarajan from Southall Black Sisters was on the panel. There was also a comment from Finn Mackay to the effect of "In the media feminists are painted as hairy, man hating idealists, like that's a bad thing" which was met with laughter. BUT IT IS A BAD THING. That's the reason young women do not want to identify themselves as feminists. That's why the girl in the audience who'd prompted this reply was being taken to an employment tribunal after making a sexual harassment accusation on the basis that she was an outspoken feminist and didn't know whether to identify herself as such in court.
She was also told to walk into court and tell them "to fuck off" by an American woman who had already read a piece from Sian Norris' book that was straight out of the handbook of bad 70s feminism. This is support. This is "sisterhood".
This same woman had grabbed the microphone to tirade a girl on the other side of my mum who had wanted to ask a VERY RELEVENT question about the medias perception of feminists. Offhandedly she had asked why writing about feminism is still seen as something to tiptoe around & apologise for, unlike racism or homophobia. But the high & mighty couldn't let it slide & answer the pressing question about perception of feminists, they decided to barrage her with complaints about how people are still racist & homophobic. Huh! Really? They patronised her to the point my mum was sat between two young girls shaking with anger at being scrutinised for wanting to move the idea of feminism & the moment forward. Into the future. The point of the whole debate.
No wonder young women do not identify with the idea of feminism if it is still purely a debate for academics. When the idea of patriarchy is still introduced. When we are told to "say the word feminism everyday". When those on the "feminist scene" are too closed to talking about feminism with anyone who doesn't identify with "sisterhoods" & "women only spaces". I am one of those young women & I can tell you for sure that I have said the word feminism to more people in my short 20 year lifetime outside of the world of "feminism" than any of them. I have debated what it means to be feminist with teenage boys raised on pornography & Lil Wayne. & I don't fucking care about pornography & I fucking listen to Lil Wayne.
If you preach non judgement on other women then do not belittle me because I oppose your arguments & can back them up. Do not set up a debate of the future of feminism and only talk about ideas of feminism that have been irrelevant for decades. We need it more that ever & they're taking it & turning it into something cliched & undebatable. So fuck it. Maybe I'm not a feminist. Maybe I'm an equalist. Because if the debate of feminism has been hijacked by these people then I do not identify it & I'll move onto a different debate. That of equality for all. Because that was meant to be the message all along.
Thank fuck someone else feels this way. I don't care about pornography, as long as women aren't forced into it. I don't care about prostitution, as long as women aren't forced into it. Being a 'feminist' to me means supporting other women's choices even if you don't personally agree with them, because it is their choice! Of course it matters that feminists are seen as 'hairy man haters'. It puts other women off talking about feminism or even identifying with it. Like body hair issues - if you want to shave, that's fine - if you don't, you shouldn't be judged for that either. 'Feminists' who dictate to other women what they should and shouldn't do are not feminists at all. People drive me fucking insane sometimes!
ReplyDeleteUgh, that sounds horrendously frustrating.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe the sound of these women. I was talking to my friend just the other day about what sounds like just these type of people and how much it scares people off from proudly calling themselves a feminist. My friend was telling me about how her house mates would not say they were feminists even after she answered all their questions about how it is the belief in gender equality, as they didn't want to be boxed up with the presumptions of being, man hating, lesbians, who don't shave or wear make up. Maybe a fresh look on it, like being an 'equalist' is just what we need.
ReplyDeleteA very interesting post. I think the problem is, like you say, is that defining exactly what a feminist is is so difficult.
ReplyDeleteLove the reference to Lil Wayne ;) Actually, listening to rap music in general always does provoke this debate in my own head, but I've always come to the conclusion that listening to it doesn't make me any less feminist and no one call tell me otherwise!
No! Don't disavow feminism! It still needs you. We still need it. Don't let these five (or however many were on the panel) people put you off.
ReplyDeletePersonally I think they're entitled to their own views and you to yours. Feminism isn't one size fits all. That said, this does sound very frustrating. Why frame it as a debate if you are not going to acknowledge and respond to other people's opinions?
Maybe Mackay meant it isn't a bad thing to be a hairy, man hating idealist (which it isn't - more power to you). The problem is when feminists are defined as ONLY that. And I think it is vaguely absurd to think that anyone is put off feminism by the idea of armpit hair. I don't think there can be many people left in 2012 who think shaving and feminism is incompatible. I think blaming feminism's unpopularity on that outdated misconception is ignoring the real problem and the real reason that young women don't associate themselves with feminism which is... I don't know. But I'm pretty sure it patronising them to suggest it is body hair.
And I totally agree that we need positive action but I think we still need theory too. I think we need to think about and discuss pornography and violent, misogynistic rap. I am sex positive and I listen to (some) rap but I don't think you can ignore the effect these things have on our culture and I think change will only ever be limited within a static culture.
Ok, I'm going to stop now even though I could go on FOREVER. Man, it has been too long since I've had a proper feminist chat! Email me for more. x