tumblr feminism

Right so this is really fucking hard to write. I'll start with the fact that tumblr has taught me a lot about how to talk about things & not be an ignorant dick about stuff, but it also makes me sensor myself quite a lot. I over think reblogging or reposting or commenting on anything because I do not ever want to derail a conversation I'm not meant to be a part of, I don't ever want to make someone feel shitty because of something I've inadvertently done because I don't know any better. & basically this comes down to the fact that I'm a white & cis. So my opinion has obviously, been rammed down everyone's throat for years. Not as long as that immovable object that is the white cis man but you know, I get it. Here's my privilege if you want to check it for yourself.

Let me point out too that cis, privilege etc are all things that I've learnt on tumblr. They also mean that I take a fuck load of white feminism with a massive pinch of salt because whilst you can obviously only talk from your own experience, you should also halt yourself before you try to apply that to a whole gender. 

I've always approached feminism with caution, because to be honest, a lot of it to me is very problematic. The fact that somewhere along the line the shift refocused to academia from self empowerment bothers the hell out of me. When I talk to my mum's friends about the fact that I don't care about whether young girls call themselves feminists, I care that they have enough self empowerment to say no to things they don't want to do, yes to things they do & generally do whatever the fuck they want without anyone (male or female) judging them for it. That's more important. It's more important that every single woman in the world has the ability to do whatever the fuck she wants.

And that's the biggest thing. Every woman. Regardless of skin colour or wealth or appearance. Because the biggest thing tumblr has highlighted for me is the divisions in race. I knew racism is everywhere, I know this, but now I see it everywhere. It's like when you first realise that as a teenage girl you are suddenly sexualised & start to see signs of that everywhere, you can't stop seeing it ever again. & it makes me pissed that not everyone sees it. For example, the other night on my way back from work (6ish, so not late but dark) a man walked up really close behind me and then overtook me with inches between us. Now ok from his point of view he's just trying to get home, he's in a rush, I'm walking slower than him, whatever. But rape culture means that as a woman, at night on my own, if you walk that close to me it's a fucking declaration that my feeling of safety does not concern you. He doesn't see it because he doesn't have to. This is so much of why racism was all but forgotten by white feminists. Because they just don't fucking see it.

Tumblr means that I can follow debates and learn a fuck load about what isn't being seen. I can check my privilege and adapt my behaviour in my real life. I can call out racism when I see it. But again, as a white woman it's not my debate. I will never comment on a post by the "woc" that I follow because it's not my debate, my opinion does not matter & they are not fucking posting to teach me, it's got nothing to do with me. But I can observe and come away educated and move forward as a feminist who doesn't want to make the same mistakes of the past.

Shit I really hope I've articulated this properly.

one billion rising

Tomorrow is Valentine's day! Yay! It's also the day of One Billion Rising. That thing that's been inescapable of late, from Thandie Newton on Channel 4 News to endless articles and interviews with the founder, Eve Ensler. But if you don't have a sadistic addiction to the news like me you might not know about it. Basically all you need to know is:

One in three women on the planet will be raped or beaten in her lifetime.

And to make a statement against this, internationally, one billion rising want one billion people to rise up against this. On Valentine's day. Tomorrow. So I've had some questions about what "rising" means but they've decided that means dancing (for some reason) but if unlike me, your not really one for dancing not under the influence, or you're like, at work; I think simply talking to people about it is pretty up there for raising awareness. So tell your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, tell your boss and your colleagues and the person who sits next to you on the bus or behind you in the queue at Pret. Tell them that (if there are 3 women in the room) that one of you/them statistically is likely to be raped or beaten. Maybe don't like point at someone specifically or anything, but make them realise that it is everyone's problem, it is everyone's fault. That one in three men are raping or beating women* is society's problem and we all need to do something about that. It might not be dancing, but awareness is the start.

(*I don't think that's how statistics work, because it could be the same man raping and beating multiple women, obviously, but like one in three times there's a woman there's someone raping or beating her, so almost*)

So this is how my jewellery is now displayed. I spent last week painting two frames white, finding chicken wire/hutch mesh in gardening shops & searching everywhere for tiny S hooks before settling on eBay. About six months ago I made a jewellery tree, like this but sparser & made of actual branches that I wrapped with plaster of paris & painted black. That kept falling over & didn't accomodate my long necklaces so was pretty much a fail. This on the other hand means I can actually see anything. It also reminds me how much shit I used to buy on etsy. I think some clearing out is called for so I can replace it with stuff I actually want to wear. How do you display your jewellery? I'm always amazed by people who can like "re-accessorise" everyday with every outfit. I'm more of a wear-forever-or-until-you-change kind of girl, which begs the question, why do I have so much jewellery? Also the two necklaces that I wear the most, my crystal bullet & my reindeer are not on this. Silly, silly.

My mum found these old badges the other day (at the top). I met Emily the other day when she was up in Bristol & talking about my mum I sometimes forget how awesome she is, like what she does & what kind of wisdom she's imparted onto me. With the student season coming up at work, it's just nice to be reminded that these jumped up children who think they're better than me because they're on the other side of the desk will never be as articulate, informed or observant as she has taught me to be. But anyway, how frickin cool are they? I love "The Fight Goes On" so perfect. Now I just need a jacket to pin them onto. My new leather one is just too delicate right now. I'm thinking a blazer or a denim jacket. I feel like I'd have to do it all the way though like this piece of awesomeness. Time to start badge collecting!

Yay Sunday post

Sticker from the etsy shop of the amazing Midge AKA ModernGirlBlitz.

So over my apple & coffee this morning I read this article in G2 about teenagers not knowing what consent means. Interesting, given that recently high profile men & what would appear to be the whole British media, are pretty sketchy about what consent means as well. The only good thing about the Julian Assange fiasco is that if it comes up in conversation I now have a great way of telling what side of the "rape fence" someone stands on & can adjust my behaviour towards them appropriately. As in "Wikileaks is more important than whether two women were raped" = spit in face/point & scream rapist.

The sex education in this country (never mind the rest of the world) is appalling. I was shown the same video twice, about cartoons having sex & what this does to their body. We were never talked to about what constitues emotional abuse, or that because boys are often raised on porn nowadays their expectations of girls are unrealistic & that the girls themselves should treat them as such. Basically, to say girls you have the power to say no to anything you don't feel comfortable with because the boy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about or wants anyway.

Recently I've had several friends tell me that guys have taken condoms off whilst they were having sex & although they felt completely violated, they didn't consider it rape. This totally astounded me. All of them are confident, self assured feminist women. It angered me so much that if it could happen to them & they did nothing, then what would these guys get away with, with more vulnerable women? They all agreed in the end that they had consented to one thing & the guy's had crossed the line into something that they had not consented to. Whilst I don't know the technical term for rape, it sure sounds like it to me. & I cannot believe that there are teenagers out there thinking this is ok. That there are guys that do this at all. I just... I can't believe it's so fucking common.

I've just been to a debate on the "Future of Feminism" that makes me truly think that the future of feminism is fucked if it's left in the hands of these "sisters". Not only were the panel patronising, they didn't answer the questions from the audience. They also intimidated other members whilst talking about patriarchy and how we have to bond together in a "sisterhood" and stop judging each other. In the words of my wonderful feminist mother "If you are against the patriarchy then stop patronising my daughter". 

When I asked a pretty legitimate question about the fact that the furthering of the feminism is more about empowering women from the ground up rather than having theoretical debates between like minded people about how we can further equality for everyone; I was met with defensiveness and talk of outreach programmes. The panel were very happy to talk about getting involved with the community to further the "feminist movement" but nothing about actual real women and what it can do for them. Nothing about young women which I specifically mentioned. And don't even get me started on Finn Mackay's response.

Other audience members asked questions which were repeatedly not answered or brushed over into areas the panel felt more comfortable talking in. There were interesting points raised about the role of black feminism as a separate entity within feminism as Chitra Nagarajan from Southall Black Sisters was on the panel. There was also a comment from Finn Mackay to the effect of "In the media feminists are painted as hairy, man hating idealists, like that's a bad thing" which was met with laughter. BUT IT IS A BAD THING. That's the reason young women do not want to identify themselves as feminists. That's why the girl in the audience who'd prompted this reply was being taken to an employment tribunal after making a sexual harassment accusation on the basis that she was an outspoken feminist and didn't know whether to identify herself as such in court.

She was also told to walk into court and tell them "to fuck off" by an American woman who had already read a piece from Sian Norris' book that was straight out of the handbook of bad 70s feminism. This is support. This is "sisterhood".

This same woman had grabbed the microphone to tirade a girl on the other side of my mum who had wanted to ask a VERY RELEVENT question about the medias perception of feminists. Offhandedly she had asked why writing about feminism is still seen as something to tiptoe around & apologise for, unlike racism or homophobia. But the high & mighty couldn't let it slide & answer the pressing question about perception of feminists, they decided to barrage her with complaints about how people are still racist & homophobic. Huh! Really? They patronised her to the point my mum was sat between two young girls shaking with anger at being scrutinised for wanting to move the idea of feminism & the moment forward. Into the future. The point of the whole debate.

No wonder young women do not identify with the idea of feminism if it is still purely a debate for academics. When the idea of patriarchy is still introduced. When we are told to "say the word feminism everyday". When those on the "feminist scene" are too closed to talking about feminism with anyone who doesn't identify with "sisterhoods" & "women only spaces". I am one of those young women & I can tell you for sure that I have said the word feminism to more people in my short 20 year lifetime outside of the world of "feminism" than any of them. I have debated what it means to be feminist with teenage boys raised on pornography & Lil Wayne. & I don't fucking care about pornography & I fucking listen to Lil Wayne.

If you preach non judgement on other women then do not belittle me because I oppose your arguments & can back them up. Do not set up a debate of the future of feminism and only talk about ideas of feminism that have been irrelevant for decades. We need it more that ever & they're taking it & turning it into something cliched & undebatable. So fuck it. Maybe I'm not a feminist. Maybe I'm an equalist. Because if the debate of feminism has been hijacked by these people then I do not identify it & I'll move onto a different debate. That of equality for all. Because that was meant to be the message all along.

Today is a day of action for the Fawcett society's "DON'T TURN BACK TIME ON WOMEN'S EQUALITY" campaign. There's a march in London & some tea parties around the UK which you can see here. Unfortunately I'm at work but I will be donning a vintage 50's number, some red lipstick & seamed stockings to show how I do not want to have my rights switched back to that era. It's a little strenuous I know, but hey. At least watch the video if only for the fact that the amount raised from mother's by capping child benefit = £2.5b is the same as the amount raised from taxing the bankers. Yes, equality?

It's been 44 years since the Abortion Act was passed in the UK, 4 decades since my mum defended that same act against threats to change it & today on the front page of the paper is yet another threat against one of the most basic women's right we have in this country. An evil, spiteful & unfortunately powerful woman by the name of Nadine Dorries got elected as an MP in 2005, since then she has twice made ludicrous attempts to undermine basic rights by being the driving force behind the Conservatives obsession with shortening the abortion limit & teaching abstinence alongside sex education to girls - not boys - the clear misunderstanding there obviously being that ideologies are more important than arming our young vulnerable people with the tools they need to protect themselves, whatever promises they make.

But this isn't about Dorries, however much of a despicable character she may be, this is about the fact that the government is listening to people like this & that today, with the strategic words from a lawyer or two, they are proposing to change the decision making process of women considering abortions. A small change means it doesn't have to go through Parliament & so on the grounds that those evil, selfish (note: sarcasm) people who go into the British Pregnancy Advisory Service are money hungry emotionless baby-killers; proposes to replace them with softly spoken heavily biased towards religion, pro-life & supposedly "independent" advisors. Advisors who will go onto softly, religiously whisper words of encouragement into ill-prepared vulnerable women's ears about the fact that the cluster of cells is in fact already a human being.

They can say they are "independent" because they keep their religious funders in hushed whispers & out of the limelight. No doubt it's a man, whom I'm afraid has absolutely no authority over anyone's womb & has no idea at all about what a heart wrenching decision it is for anyone to go through an abortion. & an even more sinister thought that was niggling at me until John Healey said it, was that this highly controversial & oddly timed announcement comes just before the Commons debate on the Health Bill as a whole. I wonder how much of that two day debate they will happily hand over to suitably angry opposition MPs who they will accuse of living in the past, when in fact they simply can't believe we're still having this conversation.

Full Article. Picture Source.

I'm so tired it's ridiculous. I've been mindlessly cross-stitching since about five this morning but I have finished my vulva for the Shoreditch Sisters Embroideries Campaign to end Female Genital Mutilation. They're making a quilt of them. If you in anyway are able to apply images to fabric I totally insist that you get involved. You can make it as abstract (or realistic) as you want, just has to be 7"x7". All the details are here. I should be revising physics but I just can't, it's like a massive brick wall or something. I've made the flashcards & I lay them, my textbook & all the past papers out in front of me & even with the answers in my hand I have no idea how they got what they got. I don't know whether to cry or just...keep pretending time doesn't exist.

In other news I'm having somewhat of an existential crisis about the blog. It may be the lack of sleep or sobriety over the weekend, but I feel like I really want to do something. It's been amazing getting more followers recently, but I feel like I've done pretty well on getting awesome bloggers to comment regularly with interesting insights rather than for their own gain. But then it's so amazing when you feel like people actually read your blog, right? I feel like because I'm not a *fashion* blogger, or even a *political* blogger or an *art* blogger then I can't really ask for a concise audience either, do you know what I mean? But I know there are amazing people who, like me are interested in all sorts of things & it's so great to be able to find those people. Anyway, I don't know what I'm talking about. In conclusion: I might do some guest blogging on a politics blog about fashion. No?

I think this was mainly prompted by the South West Blogger Meet Up Dichohecho told me about. Because they're meeting up in Cabot Circus to go shopping, which I have a resolution not to do this year. & it made me think about how awesome it would be to actually meet some bloggers who think like me & are generally amazing. Maybe I should do my own & we can go charity shop shopping in Clifton (they get the best picks in Bristol...). Even though I have no money, am saving any I do have for Berlin, & should be chained to a desk revising Mass Defects. I'm tired & not making sense. E-mail me if any of this sounds plausible: neonpeg@gmail.com.

Awesome.

From my monthly Fawcett Society e-mail. I was thinking of moving to Spain with their lovely Socialist government & then... Los Indignados aka The Indignant One's both prove that even a socialist government can't ride this out whilst still paying back the debt, but also that their young people get angry about the right things. 45% youth unemployment versus tripling university fees, I think I know what's more important. Anyway...

Happy Sunday